I Told You So...

It’s true…Many people told me to stay away from alcohol; they told me the abusive relationship I was in was only going to get worse; people told me that marijuana is a gateway drug.

I didn’t listen though. It was because it was “old” people telling me those things. To me, it was as if they were just trying to control me; like they were trying to cage me. And that’s one thing I’ve always despised – being controlled. So, of course, I had to do my own thing and taste the alcohol, try to make that abusive relationship work, and hit that blunt at least once. What I didn’t know was that I’d like that first taste of alcohol a little too much. I didn’t know that first punch to my face would lead to a gun being pointed to my head. I never thought that “MaryJane” would be the starting pitch to popping pills and snorting coke.

But can I truthfully say “I didn’t know” these things? ‘Cause I do know I once heard my mama say something along those lines. I can recall my grandmamma telling me something similar to that. The truth of the matter is I didn’t want to believe that they were right. Because if they were right…that meant I was wrong! With that realization, my young mind turned to denial for comfort. In my denial, I did nothing but prove the “old” people even more right. I kept trying to fix what I had gotten myself into but only succeeded in getting myself into an even bigger mess. Then I hit rock bottom and I had to give up the front and throw in the towel. I had to admit to myself that I really didn’t know how to fix the mess I got myself into before I could turn to God the Father to help me put back the pieces of my life.

God put the “old” people in our lives to help guide us – not to control us. He placed them in our lives to show us the safer path because they went the wrong way and found out there was quicksand in the form of alcoholism that took them 25 years to get out of. They went down a side street where they got robbed for 8 years of their life and the thief was crack…

Believe me when I say that just like I never saw myself cruising my way towards being and alcoholic; that “old” person didn’t see a crack pipe and prostitution on her schedule of events.

God put the “old” people in our lives because He doesn’t want us to hurt the way that they hurt. He doesn’t want us to experience the torment that goes along with the high that they were itching for. As a young person, I would like to formally announce that I wish I had listened to the “old” people in my life…because as I was trying to prove them wrong I only proved them right.

Now, my only wardrobe choices are different shades of orange. And when I get the urge to see my little brother, the only thing I can do is pick up a pen and write. In the eyes of the world, where many don’t have faith in the Only Living God, I will not see freedom until the year 2020 just before my 32^nd birthday. But in the life that I live, in the Hand of the Almighty God, I walk in freedom through Christ Jesus on a daily basis because who the Son sets free is free indeed, and the law of man has no hold on me. I believe in faith as many of the “old” people in my life have believed and still do, that Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world; and that Jesus was sent to set the captives free. This is my public proclamation that God is in total control of my life because He knows better than I do, and that He will receive all the Glory when He shows the world that He can do the impossible. What has been signed in ink as my fate, God has cancelled out with His promises in the Word which I stand in faith believing.

For those who still haven’t seen the light, who don’t want to listen to the “old” people; I will tell you as a young person that they know what they’re talking about when they warn you that some of your wild ideas are not going to end with marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers and you won’t be able to make s’mores out of the mess that comes with the choice you may be contemplating. “Old” people are there to help you not hinder you. You don’ t have to go through what we did.